1. Seat grabbers: This ones are not preachers of love and they came prepared to fight. After you’ve settled into your seat, they’d come and tell you to stand up for them. If you don’t, fight will start.
2. The sleeping machines: These ones cannot come and Kee themselves. The moment the car starts moving, they port to another universe.😴🛌
3: The where are we now group: These ones behave like they’ve never travelled before, every five minutes they’re asking you: Brother, please wia we dey now? We don reach Kafanchan? Shebi after Zaria we go enter Lagos? 📱🤳
4. The zealous prayer warriors: These ones don’t smile, they are ever ready to give it to Satan hot hot. They’ll speak in tongues from beginning to the end and sometimes even force all of you to join.🤲⛪🛐
5. The gluttons: These ones don’t want to hear that they got ulcer because of common travelling. So every chance they get they gauge their stomach well. They combine akpu with malt and garden egg then top it with sugarcane. Five minutes later, they’re pricing chin chin and water melon.👽💖
6. The urinators: These one shout ‘Driver stop!’ every twenty minutes, then run into the bush to do the needful, they mostly belong to group 5. They are always offloading to create space for downloading.💦😹
7. The assistant drivers: Drivers pray every morning not to meet these ones. They’ll never blink, their eyes are focused on the driver. If driver tries overtaking they shout and insult daylight out of him. Try overspeeding and they might even land you a knock. I love them.🚓💨💨
8. Story tellers: These ones make the journey lively. Their mouths keep moving nonstop. They’ll tell you what happened in their village in Adoka in 1967 and tell you how Adakole impregnated his uncle’s neighbour’s tenant, while you’re still confused, they quickly move to tell you of their days serving in the military. Mostly old men.😇🗣️
9. The unconcerned ones: These ones plug in their earphones throughout the journey and are not bothered at all. Even if the car is somersaulting, they won’t flinch. They’re mostly young undergraduates who think they’ve made it in life.🤷😹
10. The single and searching: These ones are desperately in need of a partner. They use style to sit close to one fine person they’re attracted to and act all caring throughout the journey so that they can ask the all important question: Can I please, kindly, gently, and humbly get your number?🤫
Which group do you fall into?😏😏
